Getting through the muck
All too often I see what I want to see and hear what I want to hear regarding people, places, and things. Call me the eternal optimist, but it's not always a good thing. I choose to see the potential in what something can become. It gets me into trouble all too often. (i.e. dating, housing, relationships, work). I also look at a person's history and if they were doing great in the past, I think "oh, it's just a phase... he will get his act together like before." Not so, I'm discovering.
It seems in order to not be crushed and disappointed I must stop caring and become cold and unfeeling. This is like telling a singer they can never sing again in their life. It's crushing and incomprehensible, because like the singer, it give my life meaning: it's what I do. I'm a dreamer and live most of my life in a dream. Reality bites so I try to avoid it as much as possible. But when I think about all of the grief, disappointment and heartache I've experienced in my 24 years, I realize so much of it has been self-inflicted. I'm probably a masochist in denial, but I do want to change my ways.
Like everything, I guess the solution is just to find a balance. Don't be TOO caring but don't be TOO insensitive. Don't give people second, third, fourth chances to prove themselves worthy. Life is short and my time is limited. If he isn't what I want right now, why waste time hoping he'll change, and in the process, very likely becoming heartbroken? I have high expectations of men and high standards, but they are not unrealistic or impossible. More than anything I want respect. But you have to respect yourself in order to expect that of others. I can show myself respect by not settling for mediocrity in my life; by shooting for the stars and not being content with the muck on the ground. Aretha Franklin knew what she was singing about!
It seems in order to not be crushed and disappointed I must stop caring and become cold and unfeeling. This is like telling a singer they can never sing again in their life. It's crushing and incomprehensible, because like the singer, it give my life meaning: it's what I do. I'm a dreamer and live most of my life in a dream. Reality bites so I try to avoid it as much as possible. But when I think about all of the grief, disappointment and heartache I've experienced in my 24 years, I realize so much of it has been self-inflicted. I'm probably a masochist in denial, but I do want to change my ways.
Like everything, I guess the solution is just to find a balance. Don't be TOO caring but don't be TOO insensitive. Don't give people second, third, fourth chances to prove themselves worthy. Life is short and my time is limited. If he isn't what I want right now, why waste time hoping he'll change, and in the process, very likely becoming heartbroken? I have high expectations of men and high standards, but they are not unrealistic or impossible. More than anything I want respect. But you have to respect yourself in order to expect that of others. I can show myself respect by not settling for mediocrity in my life; by shooting for the stars and not being content with the muck on the ground. Aretha Franklin knew what she was singing about!
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