Rejection

I love this song and the lyrics describe how I'm feeling.
Jordin Sparks - It Takes More



Dead to me
A page in history
Again set free
Ready Steady Heidi

I've rejected plenty of guys over the years, so I guess it's only fair that it happens to me too... over. And over. And over again. And again. And again. Yes, that's right. 5 times in the past 5 months. I know there's a lesson to learn about this, but it doesn't make dating any easier. Reasons these 5 guys have given me or conclusions I've drawn are as follows:

Guy #1: "I want action. I am exploring new lifestyles right now... I can't be what you're looking for... basically I just want sex from you."

Guy #2: "I want action. I have no self control and feel like if we become exclusive, I'll try and sleep with you... I can't live with that kind of guilt. You're great, but there may be someone even better around the corner so I can't be tied down."

Guy #3: "I'm experimenting right now, finding myself. The church may or may not be true, but I don't care enough to find out. Plus I don't do long distance relationships... or in other words, you don't mean enough to me to put effort into one."

Guy #4: "I'm too good for you. I'm such a hot commodity that I can't be in a relationship right now... I just want to be friends with you because you're so awesome." (Yeah right).

Guy #5: "I am holier than thou... I'm EQ president and have an image to maintain, if only to myself. I feel impure if I admit to myself that I'm attracted to you and enjoy being physical with you... therefore this can't work out."

Like the double rainbow guy, I am left asking myself "What does this mean??" I'm not exactly sure what it's supposed to mean, but I have a pretty good idea Satan is involved. I'm not sure if God is trying to get a message across to me (such as... GO ON A MISSION), or if it's really just Satan trying to keep me down. It's easy to feel like something is very wrong with me. That I am damaged goods. That I will never be good enough for a guy. But deep down, I know it is Satan that puts such thoughts in my mind. I must work to overcome those negative thoughts and always remember that I am a daughter of God. A good person, with a good heart, with lots to offer. And if others can't see that, it's not my problem. It's theirs. And really, I'm better off single if my worth is not recognized or appreciated.

Comments

  1. JOSHATALIEOctober 25, 2010 at 1:06 PM

    Heidi,
    You are an amazing, talented, beautiful, smart, funny (the list goes on and on)! I am sorry you are having a rough patch at dating. I know there is someone out there for you. Don't give up and I am glad you recognize that it may be Satan. Trust me, you are NOT damaged goods. I love you and only want you to be happy. Hang in there and let me know if I can do anything for you!

    ReplyDelete
  2. HFKOctober 25, 2010 at 1:40 PM

    Thank you so much. I'm so glad I have you as a friend. And likewise, you're so wonderful! Love you lots.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Happiness Factor

I ran across this awesome article on 22 things happy people do differently. This is really excellent advice. I think I do a lot of them, but there's def some room for improvement. The original post is at http://successify.net/2012/10/31/22-things-happy-people-do-differently/. Here they are, along with my own thoughts: 1. Don't hold grudges. HK: This is way important. By making the conscious decison to not hold a grudge, a huge burden is automatically lifted off your shoulders. 2. Treat everyone with kindness. HK: Live the golden rule. You want people to be nice to you? That means you gotta be nice to them. Plus, it's what Jesus would do. He would be nice to the jerks and the people that use you. 3. See problems as challenges. HK: And more importantly, as opportunities. For personal growth and positive change. 4. Express gratitude for what they already have. HK: I find life goes pretty good when I take the time to thank God for all of the blessings and wonderful ...
Read more

Have You Ever

Have you ever felt alone in a crowded room? I have. Have you ever had to fake a smile and pretend that you're happy when inside you're dying? I have. Have you ever been painfully misunderstood by everyone that knows you? I have. Have you ever been unfairly judged by someone else? I have. Have you ever been betrayed by your closest friends? I have. Have you ever longed for someone to love you back? I have. Have you ever put your heart on the line and had it trampled over? I have. Have you ever been totally used and taken advantage of? I have. Have you ever given someone a second, third, fourth chance when they never deserved it in the first place? I have. Have you ever tried to change someone so they can reach their full potential just to watch it blow up in your face? I have. Have you ever settled for Mr. Right Now instead of Mr. Right? I have. Have you ever had to learn your lesson the hard way? I have. Have you ever compromised your standards in order to make someone else hap...
Read more