Another Ending

Last week I broke up with the guy I had been seeing off and on for a year. It was mutual, which in some ways made it easier. This was my first time having a non-LDS boyfriend, and I learned a few important things from this relationship.

1. You have to accept someone's lifestyle choices, whether you like them or not.
2. Different religious beliefs are a huge relationship barrier.
3. Stand up for yourself and say goodbye to any man who treats you poorly with any amount of disrespect or rudeness.
4. The give-take ratio should be about equal. If you're giving and getting scraps back, say goodbye.
5. You should never feel like you're not "enough" in your man's presence or otherwise.
6. If your friends or family don't like him and think he's a jerk, say goodbye.
7. It's not your job to motivate your boyfriend to want to improve his life. He should want that on his own and be actively working on it.
8. Any man that lives at home past 25 who doesn't have a college degree or a car is probably not boyfriend material.
9. It's possible to love someone who's completely wrong for you. Love isn't a good enough reason to stay together.
10. You have to be happy with yourself before you can be happy with someone else.

You're probably wondering what I saw in him and why I dated him. On paper, he's not a catch. I know this. Yet in spite of all of this, it's hard for me to let go. Truth be told, I miss him. A lot. I miss the good times and his hugs and kisses. I miss our inside jokes and laughs and silliness. I miss feeling like I could completely be myself, holding nothing back, and knowing he wouldn't judge me or think I'm weird.

It's time to move on, as difficult as it might be. Break-ups are traumatic and devastating and heart breaking, whether it's mutual or not. I've always been terrible at saying goodbye. Yet I know I need to let go and close this chapter in my life. It's time for me to stop attracting projects and start fixing myself instead. That's my new plan and I better stick to it!

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