Getting There is the Hard Part

I can see my dreams and know what I want. But getting there is the hard part. I've spent the past several months learning to be content and satisfied with my lot in life. It's worked out pretty well. But I'm a restless spirit by nature, and the restlessness is telling me something's gotta change.

My living situation isn't perfect, but it could be a lot worse. I pay cheap rent and have no contract. I'm close to my family, the gym, and Salt Lake. I do hate my 25 minute commute to work, but I deal with it.

My job has its ups and downs. Sometimes I'm so restless and bored I feel like I'm going crazy. At times it's extremely repetitive and mind-numbing. Other times I feel a great sense of pride and accomplishment when I have a story published. It's very gratifying. But is it enough to keep me here, to make me deal with the crap that goes on at my job on a daily basis? When will I know when my portfolio is good enough so I can move on to bigger and better? I've been here for 10 months now. Pretty good, considering my track record!

I've exhausted my dating resources and the whole online thing is just not working out. Too many weirdos, jerks, losers, narcissists, and so on. Who would have thought it would be so hard to find a nice, normal, ambitious, attractive LDS guy in Mormon central? Maybe my expectations are too high. But I've thought a lot about it, and I really don't think they are. I deserve to be treated well. And I can't convince myself there's chemistry with someone when there's not... believe me, I've tried.

I'm over it. There's not a whole lot I can do about the matter. Except maybe try a whole new dating scene... OUT OF STATE! Yes, I am really considering it. My trip to Alabama, Georgia, and Florida did nothing to make me miss home. Utah sucks and I think a change of scenery would be good for me. But how, and when? That is the most difficult part of all. I am open to anywhere pretty much. As long as it's pretty and there's stuff to do, I think I'll like it. Now all I need is the strength and courage to make it happen!

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